Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Not my favorite part of the Journey....

The one roller coaster I am SO not into~

I am sorry it has been a while since my last post but I have been trying to keep it together through the roller coaster that is IF.  I should have worked through my emotions by writing a post but every time I sat down to write I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  Here's what has been happening~

Even though this is our second IUI this is the first time I was put on the wonderful hormone progesterone.  When I say wonderful I mean the most annoying thing EVER!  Ok that is a little over the top but I for sure dislike it intensely.  For those of you that are unfamiliar with progesterone, it is the hormone that increases after you ovulate.  It supports your lining so that your embryo has a nice thick lining to attach itself to.  At NCFMC (our fertility clinic) they put you on a progesterone suppository just in case you don't naturally produce enough progesterone to support a pregnancy.  Great! I love to have that extra support.  BUT... besides the fact that it is quite annoying to "take" (if you want to call it that, It was messy, lets just leave it at that)I HATE that it gave me every symptom of being prego.  Tender breast, fatigue, even nausea.  It was really hard to stay positive but not get too excited through the 17 days of waiting.  Even though my nurse told me to wait for the blood test I broke down and took a HPT (home pregnancy test) on day 14 and 15.  Both were negative so deep down I knew my blood test was going to be negative as well but I still had that glimmer of hope.  I had always said, once I have tender breast I will KNOW I am pregnant.  I have never had that symptom before "The Devil" so I just knew if i ever had it,  I would be pregnant.  Well, that was before progesterone.


I HAD A PLAN~

I was fully booked on Friday (the day of the blood test) so my plan was not to find out my results until the end of the day.  I was trying to avoid a breakdown at work.  It's one thing to have an office to cry in but when you have to actually work on people, a breakdown MUST be averted.  All was going according to plan until I received a message from my nurse coordinator stating I must call her back before 4 or I would not be able to talk to her till Monday.  So, reluctantly, I called her while mixing up my clients color and received the sad news.  A BIG FAT NEGATIVE!  It was obviously not the news I was hoping for and getting it at work made it a million times worse.  Thankfully I was working on an amazing client that knew what was going on and was so supportive.  She of course offered to come back another time but I decided to stick it out and finish the day.  So my plan didn't work at all but what plan ever does in this IF journey.

4 comments:

  1. Crystal..you are amazing..I can't imagine the pain you go through with each negative, you morn then move forward and plow ahead with the next step..You are beautiful in every way..love you

    ReplyDelete
  2. Crystal.. I have been thinking of you. I am so sorry to hear your sad news. You are so amazing and handle it all with such grace and strength. I know that you are an inspiration to MANY!! Hang in there. Lots of love your way!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just got the call on Tuesday that I needed to start the progesterone. Its our 2nd IUI too and the first time i've had to use the supps. They're so gross right? LOL

    I'm following your blog now... good luck with your next steps!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for your support! I need every bit!
    Shay, yeah the progesterone is another part of this process that is not so fun. Isn't there a better way to "take" it haahaa. Oh well if it helps I'm game for anything! I'm thinking of you through your journey. If you need anything, support, questions just let me know. The one thing I've learned is leaning on others that have been through this IF roller coaster can really help.

    ReplyDelete