WOW, where to begin. I guess I will just start with the facts..
~I've been married for 7 1/2 years to an amazing man.
~We have been trying to add to our family for most of those years.
~I have suffered in silence for WAY to long.
~I am finally ready to go public and BLOG about my journey.
~CHAPTER ONE~ A Dream is Born
May 31st 1986, my dream began when my dear little sister was born. I remember that day like it was yesterday. My grandma took me to the gift shop to buy her a gift, a big stuffed big bird was my pick. I walked into the recovery room and saw my mom, hooked up to crazy needles and tubes that were attached up to a loud, beeping machine. She called me over, assuring me she was okay and it was okay to come see her and the baby. I remember that moment so vividly, the awe I felt about my baby sister and how beautiful my mom looked feeding her from her own body. I was hooked, I couldn't wait till that was ME in the hospital bed feeding MY baby, tubes, needles and all. I must have looked scared because everyone kept telling me it was okay, mommy was okay. What no one realized was, I was not disturbed by the scene--my mom looked more beautiful than ever-- I was dreaming of the day I would be a mommy. One day I would sit in a hospital bed, give life to a beautiful child and feed them from my breast. What an awesome day that was.
Two other siblings were born and every hospital visit I had the same feeling, the same longing to be a mommy. I played the role at home, helping my mom often with my siblings. Even teaching one of them to call me mom while my parents were on vacation. Of course I didn't realize how hard it really is to get prego--except for crackheads, 15 year olds and every other women BESIDES ME on the planet!!-- Of course I know that's not true but it sure feels like it and that is why I needed to share my story.