Busy is Good!!

We had an IUI?? Where was I at?


So last month the TWW (Two week wait) was agonizing!  I read into every little thing my body did (I figured out my intestines move A LOT!).  Last month was also the first cycle I was put on progesterone so I had never felt all the side effects that progesterone causes.  This cycle I was prepared for that so I haven't been reading into every little thing my body does.

Another thing that helped is we were so stinking busy that our IUI's feel like a distant memory.  As I said in my last post my Grandpa passes away when our monitoring began and my salon had a huge event on the day of our first IUI.  Crazy week but it was a great distraction. 

 We have to get pregnant this time because Charlie picked our
"LUCKY SOCKS" 


His light eyes always make him look like a devil dog.. It's not even RED-eye it's  GREEN-eye



Ok here is the story...

We haven't had the best of luck with our lucky sock choices (Brent is not allowed to pick as he FAILED last month)  so I was re-thinking the whole "lucky socks" thing.  I actually hate wearing socks.  I have a large drawer full of socks because I always think they are so cute but I HATE wearing them.  My feet get claustrophobic what can I say.  Sooooo, I decided...

NO SOCKS= Lucky Cycle??

Friday morning we went in SOCK-LESS and had our first IUI.  Then we went home and our sweet little Charlie comes running to greet us with a pair of my socks in his month.  It was so funny!  I guess I should have asked him sooner HaaHaa!!



Good pick Charlie




Funny thing is these were the socks I wore during "my best" softball game last year but it was also the game I broke my ankle so I went back and forth last cycle about wearing them.  Charlie chose for me this cycle


I wore the "Lucky Socks" that Charlie chose to our second IUI on Saturday.  So we figured we've covered all the bases, socks and sock-less (if only making it work were that easy but every little bit helps, RIGHT??).  Hopefully Charlie isn't sabotaging our baby making because he wants to stay the baby.. hmmmm, I didn't really think of that.  Haahaa~

 

He's a cute baby that's for sure~

Next distraction.... HAIRWARS

Every year our salon competes in Hairwars, a local hair competition where the last salon standing wins advertising for the business.  It gets really intense.  Every salon comes up with a theme and you not only create some crazy hair but you coordinate the outfits, make-up, music and choreography (I head up the music, choreography and of course styling a couple of models).  We always put a lot of work into our show and every year we get better.  Soon we'll have it down to a science.

We also host a separate fashion show/fund raiser that benefits a local animal sanctuary (we are BIG animal lovers at our salon!!)  We have raffles, silent auctions, food, drinks and fun and all the proceeds go to the foundation. 

This year we decided to host our own HAIRWARS and combined that event with our yearly fund raiser.  We rented out a local country club and invited local salons to compete.  We gathered donations from local businesses and had vendors at the event.  It was a great success.  We definitely learned a lot and will do some tweaking next time to make it even better.  Over all it came down to the fund raiser and we raised OVER $4,000.00!

We donated all the proceeds to HARTSONG RANCH, an animal sanctuary where they believe every life is worth living.  They take in animals that are otherwise un-adoptable and give them a home.  It is an amazing organization to work with and I am so happy we were able to raise so much money for them.  Next year will be even more!!  

(Sorry some of the pics are a little grainy...)



It all started Monday when we did a mock HAIRWARS on the morning news show.  The theme was animals, can you guess what they are??



We did a ZOMBIE theme but it turned into sexy zombies, not scary




It is hard to see the hair detail but everyone looked great




The models were laughing at me bossing them around when I am like a child looking up at them..They are all so TALL




Everyone did a great job, STYLIST and MODELS



Thank goodness it is over and it all came together.  It is always so much work and we threaten to NEVER do it again but then a few months go by, we forget the pain and we start talking about our theme for the next one.  In fact I've already started thinking... Any suggestions???

Shots anyone??

I want the shot that gets me PREGNANT.. Not tipsy..

So we jumped right into another cycle but this time we went with an injectable cycle.  Gonal-F to be exact.  My nurse coordinator thought we had a "pen" of gonal-f and so she explained how to use that.  I felt super comfortable since my Hubby is a Type-1 Diabetic and he uses an insulin "pen" everyday.  All you do is dial the amount of  of meds you need and inject.  Simple, right? Well the first night we went to take the shot I opened our box and it was a couple vials and a variety of needles.  WHAT?  Where is the pen?  Still I wasn't that worried because Hubby takes "night" insulin that comes in a vial that he has to load in a needle so, he has no problems with this concept.  Our issue however was trying to determine what line to fill the meds to.  It had IU numbers but not on every line and of course not the number we needed.  Now it was getting late and I was supposed to take it at a certain time so I started to stress.  We were both panicking.  I didn't want to get too much, but I definitely wanted to make sure I got enough.  Finally, we came to our senses and divided the two numbers to find out what the number in between the lines was and it was what we needed, 112.5.  So after an eventful start to the shot party we figured it out and it was all downhill from there.

After 10 days of meds we went in for monitoring.  Like I said in my last post, it was some crazy timing with my Grandpa's passing but such is life.  Our first monitoring was the day of the family viewing.  Here is how the day went:

9 am- First monitoring appt... 3 follicles almost ready but not quite.  instructed to do one more dose of gonal-f and come back the next day. 

10 am- First client.  Hubby ran home to get my shot as I had forgotten it at home.

11am- Second client (Grandma, had to get her in to look extra pretty for the funeral)  Went in the back room to take my shot before I started Grams hair and I couldn't get all the medication out of the vial.  Again, panic set in and I started to freak out.  I was so worried the follicles weren't going to grow in time and I was going to mess up the cycle.  Hubby to the rescue (AGAIN).  I called him and told him what was going on and he came down and got all the medication out.  THANK GOODNESS!!  If we would had to open a new vial we would have wasted it.  It only last 30 days after opening so that would have been 600.00+ dollars down the drain. 

12-6 pm- Slammed with clients all day.

4 pm- Got a call from the fertility clinic and my blood test showed my estrogen levels were low so we needed to pick up a prescription for that night.

6 pm- Rushed to pick up Hubby..Rushed to pick up prescription... Rushed to family viewing. 

It was such a mix of emotions.  We are trying to get settled to get ready for the IUI but then I am faced with mourning the loss of my Grandpa.  It was a difficult time to say the least but there was also some comfort being around family and celebrating the life of my Grandpa.  Something about being out of my head and focusing on something other than fertility. 

The next day was our next monitoring and the day of my Grandpa's funeral.  The monitoring went great, 3 follicles.  2 on the right 1 on the left, all 18 mm.  Grandpa's funeral went really well too.  It was a really nice service.  We had lots of laughs and cries.  It was great to be around all my cousins and truly celebrate the life of our grandpa.

The day was not over.  All the cousins went and played games in honor of Grandpa but I had a HUGE salon event the next day and I was in charge of the food.  I conned my family into helping so it was off to my moms to make food for over 200 people.  We were at it till late into the night so our IUI the next morning was not on my mind to say the least. 

On to the Next....

New Outlook~

One of the amazing things about this journey is that you move from emotion to emotion in days, heck minutes.  One day you are mourning the results of a failed cycle and the next day you are shooting yourself up with hormones and trying not to throw things at your hubby.  Well such is my life these days and I am learning to deal with it.  I read an article that was helpful.  It basically said that there is a new study out, it shows that each fertility treatment that you have helps your body prepare for a positive cycle even if you have a negative cycle.  I LOVE this information!!  Whether it is true or not I am holding onto it.  It is so difficult to have a negative cycle in the first place, another month gone by without the joy of parenthood.  Then you add the financial loss and it is just a lot to handle.  This new bit of information gave me a new outlook.  Even if we have a failed cycle we are still working towards the ultimate goal and that failed cycle is still helping my body prepare for a positive cycle.  That's my attitude and I am sticking to it!  (At least today.. The ZB always seems to be lurking close by)


A Piece of my Heart Went to Heaven~


I did have other sad news this week that really brought a lot of emotions out.  My grandpa passed away last Thursday and even though he has been sick for a very long time, it was not welcoming news.  My grandpa suffered from Parkinson's for the last 12 years so he has not been the same grandpa that we were used to. 

The grandpa that would roll us in the pool in Grandma N's wheel chair, jump in to launch us off his shou.lders and then rate our dives off the waterfall

The grandpa that would teach us EVERY card game in the book but NEVER "let" us win.  We had to earn it and it made us all the better for it. 


The jokester that was always playing tricks on people whether he knew they would get mad or not.  He knew they couldn't stay mad for long and he would be ready for the retaliation. 


The hard working Grandpa that would alternate the days grand kids could go to work with him.  I'm sure we were more work than help but he never complained. 


I CHERISH those and so many other memories now more than ever!

One thing that never changed was his devotion to his wife, his family and his faith.  He LOVED and everyone felt it.  I am sad that my future child will never meet my amazing Grandpa on this Earth.  However, I have to believe that he is in Heaven rejoicing with family that have also passed and maybe, just maybe he is with our baby or babies looking down on us, sending us the faith we need to get through this Earthly life. 

You will be MISSED Grandpa but I know you are in a better place with a healthy body again, up to your old tricks I'm sure.

Not my favorite part of the Journey....

The one roller coaster I am SO not into~

I am sorry it has been a while since my last post but I have been trying to keep it together through the roller coaster that is IF.  I should have worked through my emotions by writing a post but every time I sat down to write I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  Here's what has been happening~

Even though this is our second IUI this is the first time I was put on the wonderful hormone progesterone.  When I say wonderful I mean the most annoying thing EVER!  Ok that is a little over the top but I for sure dislike it intensely.  For those of you that are unfamiliar with progesterone, it is the hormone that increases after you ovulate.  It supports your lining so that your embryo has a nice thick lining to attach itself to.  At NCFMC (our fertility clinic) they put you on a progesterone suppository just in case you don't naturally produce enough progesterone to support a pregnancy.  Great! I love to have that extra support.  BUT... besides the fact that it is quite annoying to "take" (if you want to call it that, It was messy, lets just leave it at that)I HATE that it gave me every symptom of being prego.  Tender breast, fatigue, even nausea.  It was really hard to stay positive but not get too excited through the 17 days of waiting.  Even though my nurse told me to wait for the blood test I broke down and took a HPT (home pregnancy test) on day 14 and 15.  Both were negative so deep down I knew my blood test was going to be negative as well but I still had that glimmer of hope.  I had always said, once I have tender breast I will KNOW I am pregnant.  I have never had that symptom before "The Devil" so I just knew if i ever had it,  I would be pregnant.  Well, that was before progesterone.

I HAD A PLAN~

I was fully booked on Friday (the day of the blood test) so my plan was not to find out my results until the end of the day.  I was trying to avoid a breakdown at work.  It's one thing to have an office to cry in but when you have to actually work on people, a breakdown MUST be averted.  All was going according to plan until I received a message from my nurse coordinator stating I must call her back before 4 or I would not be able to talk to her till Monday.  So, reluctantly, I called her while mixing up my clients color and received the sad news.  A BIG FAT NEGATIVE!  It was obviously not the news I was hoping for and getting it at work made it a million times worse.  Thankfully I was working on an amazing client that knew what was going on and was so supportive.  She of course offered to come back another time but I decided to stick it out and finish the day.  So my plan didn't work at all but what plan ever does in this IF journey.